#5- Women, you matter!

I came across these words of advice on a Facebook group (not sure of the original source), and these are things that I always tell my girl friends when I see they have trouble with men and dating. Women, don't let yourselves be treated like second class citizens. Many girls just settle being treated a certain way, but that needs to change, because you matter! Here are a few words of wisdom that you should carry with you throughout your life:

-If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away.
-If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay.
-Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior. Allow your intuition to save you from heartache.
-Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy.
-If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you correctly, don't jump into being "friends". A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend. And by seeing him more you might only be more tempted to get back into that flawed relationship.
-Don't settle. If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is.
-Don't stay because you think "it will get better." You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better.
-The only person you can control in the relationship is you.
-Always have your own set of friends separate from his.
-Maintain boundaries in how a man treats you. If something bothers you, speak up.
-Be proud of your own accomplishments and take pride in all that you do.
-You cannot change a man's behavior. Change comes from within.
-Don't ever make him feel like he is more important than you are... even if he has more education or in a better job. Do not make him a quasi-God. You both value the same!
-Never let a man define who you are.
-A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you.
-All men are NOT dogs.
-You should not be the one doing all of the bending.... compromise is a two way street.
-You need time to heal between relationships... there is nothing cute about baggage... deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship.
-You should never look for someone to complete you... a relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals... look for someone complimentary... not supplementary. Remember that you are each whole people, with your own dreams and goals, you are not half a person!
-Dating is fun.... even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr. Right. And that's how you become more experienced on what type of guy you do like and what you don't. You see what's out there.
-Make him miss you sometimes... when a man always knows where you are, sees you every second of every day, and you're always readily available to him- he takes it for granted.
-Never co-sign for a man.
-Don't fully commit to a man who doesn't give you everything that you need. Keep him in your radar but get to know others.


Share this with other ladies... you'll make someone smile, another rethink her choices, and another woman prepare.
When you eliminate all the bad, the hurtful, and the disrespectful men out of your life, you allow room for a good and decent man to come in.


*Note to men: I am in no way trying to put down your gender. I have met many amazing men and know that there are lots of them out there. (These words of advice could easily be portrayed the other way around!) This is just to help girls, especially those that may settle easily, to be better prepared and to give themselves more value. Thanks for understanding :) I'll take care of you guys next :)


With all my love,
Hennely

#4- Finding similarities among differences

For many people, there are certain things in life that define who they
are for years to come. For me, it was my worldwide travels. I saw many
cultures and learned a few languages, but what I really got out of it
was something much bigger than what I had imagined, something that
defines who I am today.

To this day, I've lived in 4 continents, gone to over 10 schools, and
visited over 20 countries; all this before I hit my 21st birthday. The
experience I got was second-to-none; I've been in deserts, I've
traveled through rainforest, and I've experienced countless cultures.
Nevertheless, there was a much bigger takeaway and here's what it was:

In our world today, we are so quick to find the differences in others:
he smells bad, she speaks funny, he can't pronounce words right, she
wears weird clothing. Sitting on the bus, subway, or anywhere in
public, we find ourselves uncomfortably examining other people. For
example, we notice their tattoos, their loud, colorful shoes, their
strange accents and their messy hair. Anything that the person has or
does that we would never do or wear, we frown upon. But have you ever
tried sitting on that bus, or anywhere in public and look instead for
the things that make you two similar?

A lot of us think that we have nothing in common with other cultures
or nationalities. Whether they are Hispanics, Arabs, or Asians, we
pull ourselves apart without ever really knowing who they truly are.
All it takes is just looking for the similarities among the
differences. You may notice that the lady who isn't pronouncing words
correctly has a 2-year-old son just like you, or that the girl dressed
in a way that you would never dress seems to like hot pink, just like
you. These may just be little things, but when you start looking for
similarities, you see the world in a different light; a more positive
one where everyone is united instead of being separated into
categories of outcasts.

We should appreciate the things that make us all different, but also
realize that we all have a lot more in common that we think. We are
all teenagers, mothers, girlfriends or sons just going through the
same types of struggles that one goes through at different phases of
our lives. We are all going through image issues when we're 14, trying
to live up to our parent's standards when we're going to college, and
making sure we have a way to feed our kids when we are mothers and
fathers. That's the huge lesson I learned from my all my years of
traveling and one that I will always take with me. Try it the next
time you are out. Trust me, it will make this world seem like a much
friendlier place. :)

With all my love,
Hennely