#9- Achieving Your Dreams

There are people out there who are currently content where they are with no desire to change. There are others who have spent their lives trying to achieve a dream and are now glorifying in all their success. Then there are those of us who know we belong somewhere, doing something we’ve always dreamed of but we have trouble building that bridge and connecting the person we are at present with the vision we have for ourselves in the future. Let me lay down an example: A girl works as a secretary in a business firm deep down has always wanted to own her own fashion line. How does she make that jump? How does she get out of that “rat race” where she needs the 9 to 5 to pay the bills but then doesn’t have time to pursue what she wants?

For one, THERE IS ALWAYS TIME! If it’s something that you truly want to do, you wouldn’t mind staying up till 4:30am to work on it, even after you’ve clocked out of your other job. That’s what the successful people do. Even those who don’t need the 9 to 5 to pay bills are always working ‘round the clock to make things happen. What makes you think you’re any different? In Twitterville it’s called the GrindFlu, and it means that, while the rest of the world is sleeping, you are one of the few out there staying up to make things happen! Those are the people whose dreams come true.

“Many of the great achievements of the world were accomplished by tired & discouraged men who kept on working”- RT on Twitter

Next, there are NO EXCUSES! Whether you are tired, don’t have enough money, may not have the latest and best equipment, nothing should hold you back! Work with what u have, don’t let anything stop you! If you work in a mall and can’t tweet because you don’t have a smart phone, go to the Apple store in the mall and tweet before work, after work and during your lunch break. Don’t have access to a computer at home? Go to the library! Its’ all about letting nothing stop you!

“There are no excuses when you're trying to get to the top”

Last, but definitely not least, realize that IN EVERYTHING, THERE IS AN OPPORTUNITY! Lets say you work at that 9 to 5 that you think has nothing to do with what you want in the future. Don’t just look at it as a job, realize that behind it, there is gold. Lets take the girl who works as a secretary for example. If she really wanted to she could turn her mindset around and realize that what she is actually learning by being in that job is invaluable things like time management, organization, and scheduling, all things that, if done right, will put her way ahead of the competition when starting her own fashion line. It’s all in the mindset! Once you realize how your job will truly help you for the future, you’ll now do it with that much more conviction and excitement because you’ll see that it’s all just preparation for when you are ready to go on your path!

We all have a purpose here on this Earth. Lets go out there and make it happen!!

With all my love,

Hennely

#8- Everybody's Free (To Wear Sunscreen)

This video came out many many years ago, but all the great advice still holds true today. It's amazing how much times don't change. Yes, maybe outside factors do, like inventing a new robot or communicating through the internet, but humanity, and what is truly important in this world for us to survive and pass along to our children, hasn't changed in centuries. And I can guarantee you it will never change.  

Enjoy the video!

#7- Why can't we reach our dreams? Or can we...

Sometimes, you have to push yourself in life.  Many of us can dream up of amazing things that we plan to do with our lives, what kind of house we want to live in, what kind of job would be so ideal, or what lifestyle we want, but then 40 years go by, and all of that is still stuff that’s only in our heads. You look back and wonder, “Where did all that time go? This was not where I saw myself, and I can never get this time back again.” What good is dreaming about things if we don’t push ourselves and make the first moves to accomplish it? Because if not, it’ll stay as that, just a dream.

You know how most people find it really hard to go to the gym, or to start that new diet and maintain it? The reason for this is because we don’t push ourselves hard enough. That’s the key word there: Enough. Sure, we give it a little try here and there, but it always falls short of reaching our goal. And then we give the excuse that  “we tried”, when in fact, we never tried hard enough to reach that turning point. That’s where the magic happens and that’s the point we have to get to in order to really turn things around. If we did, we’d find ourselves really engaged in what we’re doing and really liking it! It becomes second nature to us and part of our new lifestyle. Just like it takes a lot of force to get a heavy ball rolling, that’s how much force and energy we need to instill in accomplishing the things we want. And, just like the unstoppable momentum of the ball after it’s been pushed hard enough, so to, do our dreams and desires gain momentum and speed. But none of this happens if we give up before we reach that point. Whether it’s a new way of eating, a company you want to start, or a career change you’ve always dreamed of, life is about pushing ourselves to new extremes and trying things we never thought possible. Challenge yourself every day. Dare to accomplish something great, and to be a better you with each and every day.

#6- The Secret to Staying Together

A fellow Henster (people who follow my blogs) made a comment on my twitter saying that my blogs were good, but that they only talk about reasons why couples should stay apart. In order to change that, I did some research just now and came across another great article about staying together during the rough times. This is an excerpt from the book 101 Things I Wish I Knew When I Got Married by Linda and Charlie Bloom. Read it to the end! And if you would like to buy their book, click on the link at the bottom of their page!

http://innerself.com/html/relationships/marriage--commitment/being-marriedstaying-together.html

With all my love,

Hennely

#5- Women, you matter!

I came across these words of advice on a Facebook group (not sure of the original source), and these are things that I always tell my girl friends when I see they have trouble with men and dating. Women, don't let yourselves be treated like second class citizens. Many girls just settle being treated a certain way, but that needs to change, because you matter! Here are a few words of wisdom that you should carry with you throughout your life:

-If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away.
-If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay.
-Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior. Allow your intuition to save you from heartache.
-Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy.
-If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you correctly, don't jump into being "friends". A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend. And by seeing him more you might only be more tempted to get back into that flawed relationship.
-Don't settle. If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is.
-Don't stay because you think "it will get better." You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better.
-The only person you can control in the relationship is you.
-Always have your own set of friends separate from his.
-Maintain boundaries in how a man treats you. If something bothers you, speak up.
-Be proud of your own accomplishments and take pride in all that you do.
-You cannot change a man's behavior. Change comes from within.
-Don't ever make him feel like he is more important than you are... even if he has more education or in a better job. Do not make him a quasi-God. You both value the same!
-Never let a man define who you are.
-A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you.
-All men are NOT dogs.
-You should not be the one doing all of the bending.... compromise is a two way street.
-You need time to heal between relationships... there is nothing cute about baggage... deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship.
-You should never look for someone to complete you... a relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals... look for someone complimentary... not supplementary. Remember that you are each whole people, with your own dreams and goals, you are not half a person!
-Dating is fun.... even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr. Right. And that's how you become more experienced on what type of guy you do like and what you don't. You see what's out there.
-Make him miss you sometimes... when a man always knows where you are, sees you every second of every day, and you're always readily available to him- he takes it for granted.
-Never co-sign for a man.
-Don't fully commit to a man who doesn't give you everything that you need. Keep him in your radar but get to know others.


Share this with other ladies... you'll make someone smile, another rethink her choices, and another woman prepare.
When you eliminate all the bad, the hurtful, and the disrespectful men out of your life, you allow room for a good and decent man to come in.


*Note to men: I am in no way trying to put down your gender. I have met many amazing men and know that there are lots of them out there. (These words of advice could easily be portrayed the other way around!) This is just to help girls, especially those that may settle easily, to be better prepared and to give themselves more value. Thanks for understanding :) I'll take care of you guys next :)


With all my love,
Hennely

#4- Finding similarities among differences

For many people, there are certain things in life that define who they
are for years to come. For me, it was my worldwide travels. I saw many
cultures and learned a few languages, but what I really got out of it
was something much bigger than what I had imagined, something that
defines who I am today.

To this day, I've lived in 4 continents, gone to over 10 schools, and
visited over 20 countries; all this before I hit my 21st birthday. The
experience I got was second-to-none; I've been in deserts, I've
traveled through rainforest, and I've experienced countless cultures.
Nevertheless, there was a much bigger takeaway and here's what it was:

In our world today, we are so quick to find the differences in others:
he smells bad, she speaks funny, he can't pronounce words right, she
wears weird clothing. Sitting on the bus, subway, or anywhere in
public, we find ourselves uncomfortably examining other people. For
example, we notice their tattoos, their loud, colorful shoes, their
strange accents and their messy hair. Anything that the person has or
does that we would never do or wear, we frown upon. But have you ever
tried sitting on that bus, or anywhere in public and look instead for
the things that make you two similar?

A lot of us think that we have nothing in common with other cultures
or nationalities. Whether they are Hispanics, Arabs, or Asians, we
pull ourselves apart without ever really knowing who they truly are.
All it takes is just looking for the similarities among the
differences. You may notice that the lady who isn't pronouncing words
correctly has a 2-year-old son just like you, or that the girl dressed
in a way that you would never dress seems to like hot pink, just like
you. These may just be little things, but when you start looking for
similarities, you see the world in a different light; a more positive
one where everyone is united instead of being separated into
categories of outcasts.

We should appreciate the things that make us all different, but also
realize that we all have a lot more in common that we think. We are
all teenagers, mothers, girlfriends or sons just going through the
same types of struggles that one goes through at different phases of
our lives. We are all going through image issues when we're 14, trying
to live up to our parent's standards when we're going to college, and
making sure we have a way to feed our kids when we are mothers and
fathers. That's the huge lesson I learned from my all my years of
traveling and one that I will always take with me. Try it the next
time you are out. Trust me, it will make this world seem like a much
friendlier place. :)

With all my love,
Hennely

#3- Finding an apartment in New York.

Now, before you tell yourself that you might as well skip this one because finding an apartment in New York has nothing to do with you, just take a few minutes to read to the end. I promise that there is a bigger meaning behind everything that I write! 

I'm looking for an apartment in New York City because I will be moving there when I graduate in December. However, my search today is much different than it was earlier this year, and let me tell you why. When I first started apartment hunting I was looking for really nice apartments; you know, big ones with big bright windows, a 24 hour gym, and a lobby. Now, if you are familiar with New York City prices, you know that a tiny, hole-in-the-wall room (not an apartment, just a room) costs you no less than $800 a month (if you're lucky). This is why some people rent out their closet space! It's true! Seriously, it is. Anyway, I wasn't about to live in something like that; it had to be nice. The rooms I was looking at had price tags of over $1,300 easily. I didn't care that I would end up blowing off almost all of my work money on just rent, as long as I lived in a place that was trendy and luxurious. And that would still be my mentality today if I had not learned the difference between rich people and those who are truly wealthy. 

Here's the difference: Rich people are those who are obsessed with making money and flaunting it. The mentality of these people is, "Woohoo, I have all this money! I have to dress the part now! I need to get the most expensive clothes, the latest cars, and the expensive mansion! I need to go out every night and pop open bottle after bottle of Patron, Grey Goose...the whole nine yards!" And yeah, they have a great time, but it's short lived. Then, they are caught having to dramatically decrease their spending after a sudden realization that they have depleted all of the money that they've worked so hard for. Or worse yet, they don't realize the situation they've driven themselves into and just keep living that lifestyle while putting everything on a credit card. Unfortunately, this is exactly how I used to think.

Now, here is the mentality of the truly wealthy people: these people live humbly.  Their money stays for the duration of their lives because they know that for it to last they need to live HUMBLY in the beginning. They think above and beyond the rest of the population, look towards the distant future (not just instant gratification), and realize that taking a step down temporarily will be worth it in the end. Why rush to buy yourself a mansion (that you're only going to use 1/16th of) when it's only gonna give you hundreds of thousands of dollars to pay in just property taxes alone each year! That's an unnecessary waste of your money. Or why pay over $200,000 for a brand new car? Just because you can? That's ridiculous. And yet, this happens all the time to newbies with money and then they're left out in the cold. Now, I'm not saying you have to live in a hole-in-the-wall. You can definitely upgrade to nicer things but do so wisely and always ask yourself before every purchase, "Now, is this really necessary? Do I really need to blow off all of this money on a mansion right this second, or can it wait till I've made a plan of how to make my money last me for a while." Just go ask those who are truly wealthy to this day. They'll all tell you how they didn't start off with the $200,000 cars.

All this ties back to my apartment hunting story (See I promised it would all blend together in the end!). Technically, I could get the really nice fancy apartment if I wanted to, but then I'd have no money for anything else. I'd be maxing out credit card after credit card to buy the real necessities in life. Sending myself in a downward spiral, I'd eventually have to frantically find someone to take over my lease so that I can downgrade to something more suitable for an entry-level worker fresh out of college who is just starting her life in the "real" world. Because that's what I am. I'm no millionaire. Heck, I'm barely even a thousandaire! (i know what you're thinking! Just go along with me and pretend like its a word) So, instead of taking the, "Woohoo, I'm gonna make all this money with my new job," route, I'm gonna do it the wealthy people way. I'm gonna be smart about my money, know that I want it to last, and move into a decent apartment that's more suitable for me and my situation. And you know what? It's gonna pay off in the end because from here, after planning out my money carefully, I can only go up. In ten years from now, when I'm living in a nice house with my family and still have money to last me a lifetime, I'll look back and congratulate myself for thinking smart and having humble beginnings.

That's what the truly wealthy people are doing today.

With all my love,

Hennely